Dear Family 'n Friends –
My 92 year old Dad, Ralph Arensmeier, went home to be with Jesus Saturday afternoon,
Dad had started a physical
deterioration on Saturday of the previous week. The nurse at the Health
Center of FriendsView Retirement Community,
where Dad 'n Mom have lived for the past 16 years called me to tell me of their
desire to transport Dad to the local hospital for
"rehydration."
I asked if they were aware of the
fact that both Dad 'n Mom had each signed documents stating that they didn't
want any "heroic measures" taken to keep them alive, including the
declining of rehydration. The nurse said that they knew that, but wanted
to check with the family. I told her that Dan and I (along with Jan) loved and honored my Dad sufficiently
that we knew what his desires were and would honor them.
Dan and I talked several times on
Saturday, the 11th of January, and agreed that we should both show up in
Jan and
I drove from
Dad was very pleased to see Dan, and
we all had a good time, and rejoiced over the fact that soon Dad's faith would
become fact; his hope a reality.
In all of this it must be said that
Mom was quite quiet since a series of strokes in November and December
have left her quite mentally debilitated. She does speak, but very slowly
and with little emotion. For those of you who ever met my mom, you
know that that is highly unusual.
On Monday evening, we were joined by
our family pastor and friends from our days together in
"Uncle Clark" as he was known to Dan and me as
young boys, very tenderly ministered to Mom 'n Dad, Dan, Jan and me, and
we were blessed as he concluded their visit with the reading of that wonderful
song of the singing shepherd king of Israel, Psalm 23, and prayed for us all.
Jan flew back to
Wednesday afternoon, dad spoke his
last words on this earth. Dan and I had
lunched with mom, and as I rolled her back into their room in her wheelchair, I
rolled her next to dad’s bed. She
tenderly reached her right hand out and laid it on dad’s left hand as he was
lying on his right side. He opened his
eyes, and while softly, yet distinctly he looked her in the eyes and said, “I love you.” I don’t think it gets much better than
that!
The week proceeded with contacts
with Hospice (quite possibly the closest people to angels most of us will ever
see in this life), the arrangements of what to do when Dad actually dies, and
during their rather substantial naps more than a few games of pool in the
activities area of the retirement center. Dan is disgustingly good, but
we had fun in spite of his overwhelming superiority on the pool table.
Of course, when Arensmeiers get
together, there's normally a laugh or two . . . would you believe a lot of
it!? This was no exception.
Finally, on Saturday afternoon,
while the nurse (Paula)
was attending and we were all talking quietly, Dan said, "Stop." We observed
what he had: Dad had stopped
breathing.
The nurse checked his heart with the
stethoscope and agreed that he was gone. Dan was closest to Dad's head,
and gently cradled it, and quietly cried. I was seated on the bed near
Dad's knees, and was holding his left hand in mine, amazed at the life of this
godly man with whom we had spent such wonderful years; who had been the greatest
mentor and example of what walking with Jesus meant, and . . . all of a sudden,
he gasped and inhaled a great breath and finally let it all out!
Dan and I immediately laughed.
It was as though Dad had had the last laugh, and conveyed, "I gotcha . . . one last time!"
I told Mom, who was in the next bed,
"Your sweetheart of 68 1/2 years has gone to be
with Jesus." Her quiet, contemplative response (with quite a
smile) was, "Well, Praise the Lord." That's about as much response
as we received over the next couple of days.
Saturday night, at Shireen's
instigation, Jan and Shireen arrived* at
Jan read, from a favorite volume of
ours, the Redpath Library of Universal Literature (which we’d seen
before we were even engaged in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, and which I bought for
Jan as an engagement gift on December 24th 1962), the following:
From the writings of
George Washington Doane, an American clergyman and poet, born at
WHAT IS THAT, MOTHER?
“What is that,
Mother?”---
“The Lark, my child:---
The morn has but just
looked out and smiled,
When he starts from his
humble, grassy nest,
And is up and away,
with the dew on his breast,
And a hymn in his heart
to yon pure bright sphere,
To warble it out in his
Maker’s ear.
Ever, my child, be thy morn’s first lays
Tuned, like the Lark’s, to thy Makers praise.”
“What is that, Mother?”
---
“The Dove, my son,
And that low, sweet
voice, like the widow’s moan,
Is flowing out from her
gentle breast,
Constant and pure, by
that lonely nest,
As the wave is poured
out from some crystal urn,
For
the distant dear one’s quick return.
Ever, my son, be thou like the
Dove. ---
In friendship as faithful, as constant
in love.”
“What is that, Mother?”
---
“The Eagle, boy,
Proudly careering in
his course of joy;
Firm, in his own
mountain vigor relying;
Breasting the dark
storm, the red bolt defying;
His wing on the wind,
and his eye on the sun,
He swerves not a hair, but
bears onward---right on
Boy, bay the Eagle’s flight ever by thine,
Onward and upward---true to the line.”
“What is that, Mother?”
---
“The Swan, my love:---
He is floating down
from his native grove.
No loved one now, no
nestling nigh;
He is floating down by
himself to die.
Death darkens his eye,
it unplumes his wings,
Yet the sweetest song
the last he sings.—
Live so, my love, that when death shall come,
Swan-like and sweet, it may waft thee home.”
|
As Dad had been a lifelong Gideon, and therefore had
distributed thousands of Gideon Bibles, gifts could be made by providing Gift Bibles through the Gideons
International at their secure web site:
https://www.gideons.org/_mem_bin/FormsLogin.asp?/tginet/donationsmemorialbeta.cfm If you do that, each bible placed is normally seen
by over 140 people during its lifetime, and a nice card will be sent to Mom. |
|
Her information is: Carol
Arensmeier FriendsView Retirement Community Newberg, Oregon 97132 |
Yours, In Christ,
tim 'n jan . . . rejoicing over Dad's "Promotion!"
(. . . while being keenly aware of the
fact that we'll not have privilege of seeing him anymore on this plain.)
*Shireen had been in
(Another “relaxing” weekend in the life of the Arensmeiers .
. .)
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